We were both very vocal about only being available for something casual, and it seemed like we were in total agreement. Obviously everyone’s list is going to differ a little – these are just some things to consider as you get started making your very own personalized boundary list that you will then memorize and stick to! I think there’s a misconception that if something is casual it will take zero effort to maintain, but I personally have actually found the opposite to be true.As I said above, it’s human inertia to want more of a thing that you like, and when that thing is another person we can all find ourselves justifying that even though we said we , we can’t help catching feelings or u-hauling or landing on girlfriend island.And listen, I know, I know, sometimes you do think you want to be single and then you do find a really incredible human being and you do embark on a serious relationship and everything turns out great!And that’s rad and I’m happy for you but that’s a different article.While I do believe that anyone is to date casually.If you’re hoping to be casual with the dates in your life, it’s ideal if they’re also in that mental space.That might not seem “casual,” but it was actually incredibly helpful and gave us a second chance to try dating casually, something we both want but were previously not successfully achieving.
We’re all just people, trying to connect / make out / watch movies / hold hands / read books / get laid / eat dinner / go camping / exist on this doomed planet, and most of us are doing our best.If this is a thing you want, you can do it in 2019! I believe in you / us / our ability to not get married on the third date.In spite of all the cultural pressure for both straight and queer people to partner up, and in spite of all the very real couple privilege folks in monogamous relationships experience, the truth is that for many of us it makes more sense to prioritize ourselves as single people at this particular moment in time. Wanting to put yourself, your work, your art, your pals, even just your ability to starfish and masturbate in peace every Sunday morning ahead of everything and everyone else is actually completely okay.Are you someone who appreciates when your date arrives five minutes early or are you grateful when she’s ten minutes late so you can do some deep breathing exercises and check Instagram? Before you start going on casual dates, ask yourself: What am I looking for in a human connection right now? Am I hoping to spend time with someone who will discuss literature and movies with me?Is sex on the first date on your agenda or a total turn off? The more people you date the more you can explore what kind of sex you enjoy having with a consistent partner. I’m not saying you can’t learn a lot about yourself in a serious relationship (of course you can) I’m just saying that you can Okay, are you convinced that casual dating rules? Now we’re going to go over how to actually keep things casual, because I know y’all are going to show up in the comment section telling me queers just , and I am here to look you sternly in the face, roll my Capricorn sun/Virgo rising eyes at your sweet little soul in an exasperated but loving way, and say that! Would I ideally like to see one human a couple of times a month, or multiple humans once a month each, or two humans twice a year?