What to know about dating a black man
The fact that you don’t know that the black hair experience is different is part of the problem.
Now, you don’t have to rush out and watch the Chris Rock documentary “Good Hair.” I mean, you can if you want to. Now, in terms of the specifics of the different black hair options, that could take up an entire article on its own, honestly, that could be an encyclopedia.
Just know going in, that white people as a group know absolutely nothing about black people’s hair: the care, the products, the maintenance, the styling. I don’t need you to know, I just need you to know that you don’t know. Which is great, black women are very creative and adventurous and bad ass about our hair.
I don’t have time to go into it all but I will give you the basics so you’re not caught totally off guard by some of the terminology.
Either way, you’re on brand and I’m here to support you. Now of course, all black men are different blah blah blah, I’m about to paint with a broad stroke here but, I can do that.
It’s a great idea to be open to trying new things that she may want to share with you, but that’s the typical process of dating and getting to know someone. I wish you love and luck on your journey into the magical world of black women!As a guideline, it’s best not to ask a black woman if her hair is natural or if she has a weave. Again, you don’t need to know what we’ve done to our hair, we’re not looking for you to DO our hair. And then keep your eyes and ears open and listen to her when she shares with you when you do/say something racist. You can get through it, it could even draw you closer.Just, if you like it, compliment it and if that black woman wants to share with you more about it then she will. If I were you, I would not spend any time being concerned about whether you “measure up”. Sex isn’t really different based on race, it’s all about the personality of the people involved. Over time as you relate to this black woman you will start to see race and racism everywhere. You’ll start to love and care about this black woman and naturally you’ll see things through her eyes, you’ll notice things that you never would’ve before because you’ll be attuned to her and conscious of how people will treat her. It’s awesome because you’ll start to see with Wakanda colored lenses, it’ll be like developing a super power that you never knew you had “I see racism.” This new superpower will be an opportunity for you to connect with your woman by sharing with her what you see and observe, asking her what she thinks of it and sharing how it makes you feel.It may be because she has no idea that you like her because you’re acting, in her mind, like you’re not. So, now it may be time to take a page out of the black man approach book and be BOLD.Doesn’t have to be way outside your comfort zone, but a simple statement that you think she’s great/amazing/beautiful/cute/ funny/wonderful and would like to take her on a date/out to dinner will suffice.