Dating service writers
After a lengthy back-and-forth with a cute guy who asks why I’m still single (beats me! We have a short phone call, as Hoffman recommends, to set something up. That’s online dating: You meet the freakazoids and think, Ghosting happens to the best of us, says therapist and dating coach Melanie Hersch.
), I try a Hoffman move, writing, “That’s a story better told over a drink.” He suggests... To stay sane, she says, “stop telling yourself stories to explain it, like ‘It’s because I’m not good enough.’ Trying to figure out why someone didn’t choose you is like trying to swim with ankle weights: You’ll get pulled right down instead of moving forward.
Married daters are more common than we’d like to think, says dating coach Laurel House, host of the podcast The Man Whisperer.
Her tip: “A little pre-date due diligence is smart.
(When you’re a black woman in your 40s, why do all your matches look like George Jefferson?
) Hoffman says the algorithm, like a boyfriend, can’t read my mind; I need to message and “like” guys I find appealing if I want to start seeing similar people in my results.
Do a Google image search with his photo to see if it links to a Facebook or Instagram account.” This can also protect you from scam artists—be wary if the photos seem too perfect or his language is considerably more fluent in his profile than in his messages. I’m spiritual and go to church, but “faith” sounds heavy.
And if he tells you he lost his wallet and needs a loan? The first thing Hoffman tells me: “This takes time and attention. I swap it for “fun.”, is that men tend to overestimate the sexual interest of women they casually encounter, so they may assume the "gift" will be welcome.
But at 44, I started to realize that if I want a companion before Social Security kicks in, I have to leave the couch.
Agreed—as a curvy girl, I want to avoid first-date surprises. I haven’t worn a Halloween costume since I went as a pack of grape Hubba Bubba in sixth grade.
If they're older/paunchier/have more neck bolts than he does in the photos, choose compassion, says New York dating coach Connell Barrett.
I needed a trainer, someone who could help me focus—only instead of getting defined abs, I’d get a mate (hopefully, with defined abs).
Enter Damona Hoffman, dating coach and host of the Dates & Mates podcast, who promises rapid results if I just follow a few tough-love rules....