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Be open about your hopes, dreams and passions and keep things that may be controversial to yourself (you can always reveal more later). Then it’s OK to include one or two full-body shots in your gallery. If you want to use humor, write whatever you’re planning to say down and show it to some friends or coworkers first. With your tone of voice and inflection, it may be hilarious—but out of your friend’s mouth it may fall flat or even be offensive. Odds are you may turn off more people than you attract. These are the types of details to work into a conversation on your first or second date. Be mindful while flirting online, since it’s easy to sound too aggressive too soon. When writing an email or text message, as a general rule only say things you’d feel comfortable and natural saying in person. Otherwise, wait 20 to 23 hours between e-mail contacts for the first few messages. Avoid sending any messages while most people are sleeping, even if you’re wide awake. Buy Webb’s book Data, A Love Story for the full download.Online dating starts off like window shopping—avoid anything too heavy or serious. Most of your photos should be close up so people can see your face—this is where much of the initial “would we have good chemistry? Avoid cropping your photos, lest you end up with the dreaded way-too-vertical “I was standing next to my ex” photo. If someone introduced himself to you at a party, would the next thing out of your mouth be items off your resume? Let your personality win someone’s interest, not your bragging rights. The best way to flirt is to care deeply about whatever your date is saying and to focus all of your attention on him or her. Webb found that successful daters waited that amount of time and as a result still seemed eager without coming off as desperate. After laying out 72 key data points, creating multiple fake male profiles (you gotta check out the competition!

If you’re concerned about the person’s age ask him/her to send a recent photo.

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The story ends nicely with Webb meeting her future husband and accomplishing her must-start-having-kids-by-35 timeline. Show off your eyes and your smile, and be sure to avoid using a picture of you in sunglasses as your main profile photo. Avoid mentioning specific comedians, shows, books, musicians or movies unless those are top-tier attributes on your list. or Kid Cudi doesn’t mean that a potential suitor does. If there’s something in your life or personality that may be controversial or taboo, leave it off your profile.

Here’s Amy’s 10 rules for online dating (along with a bit of personal experience): 1. Keep your words positive, inspiring and optimistic. I’ve never been good at talking about myself.” If you’re not a good writer, figure out the keywords and points you need to make, then ask a friend to help you out. Photos should focus on your waist up, unless you have a great figure. It’s possible to be generic about what you like while still being specific enough to sound interesting. Unless that comedian is one of your deal-breakers, leave him or her off your profile. Perhaps you are an avid NRA member, are passionately Pro-Choice, or a strong advocate for medical marijuana—you may want to leave out things that someone could potentially interpret that information in a way that disadvantages you. If you’ve won a Pulitzer or climbed Mount Everest or for some reason own a jet, this is wonderful news—just don’t share it online. If someone instant messages you while you’re online, go ahead and IM back if you want.

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